What I thought
by CurveOfAWrist
Summary: During Apprentice Part 2, Robin fights his teammates. Mostly, he appears stoic and uncaring. So… what was he thinking? This is what I suspect. Robin’s POV… Warning: I’m Raven biased. RobStar


**_What I thought_**

_Summary: During Apprentice Part 2, Robin fights his teammates. Mostly, he appears stoic and uncaring. So… what was he thinking? This is what I suspect. Robin's POV… Warning: I'm Raven biased. RobStar_

**_Side note:_** To soon-to-be readers, I portrayed Robin the way I think he is. If you don't like it, sorry. Just lemme know. I am Raven biased, I know, but after watching the show, I can't help but think this is what he thinks and feels… about all the characters. Don't worry though! It's not RobxRae! Anyway, enjoy.

**_Side note2:_** To my dear _**Angel**_ (you know who you are), I know you don't like Robin, but you may yet find this interesting. Of course you don't have to read this, don't feel obliged.**

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I placed the explosive on the door. It'd been so easy to get in. For me, of course it was. I may not use these skills all that often, for lack of nessesity, but now I had to… for my friends.

Lifting my left wrist, I pressed down on the nessisary button to set off the small explosive. I didn't look away as it exploded; only closed my eyes. I still needed my good night vision. Not that I couldn't just turn it on within my mask if needed.

Knowing the brightness of the explosion had passed, I stepped into the smoke and passed it carelessly. I entered, and my eyes scanned the large, mostly barren room. It had a high ceiling and green designs along the room. All of this I barely took in, my attention was on the sole object in the room.

A single beam of light shone down upon the required object. He wanted it, so I had to get it… for him. And there it was, just floating there. A quite miniscule object with several protruding points. One from both ends and several hooked points through the middle. That was all it was. It was only slightly larger then a handgun.

I reached out to grab it and heard an all too familiar voice. Normally, I'd have been happy to hear that voice. I would have smiled and turned to my old friend, but his words weren't exactly kind, but I knew why.

"You're not walking out of here Robin!"

I turned to see Cyborg, though he wasn't alone. Of course he wasn't. Despite my hope, I knew they'd show up. A part of me was proud, that they would show up to fight evil, even if it came in the shape of their friend. I also felt hurt though, that I had to fight them, that because of me, their lives were on the line.

So there they were, as proud as ever, without me standing afront them, just as proud. No, Cyborg stood at center, which I found slightly odd. I always invisioned Raven to be more the type to take over for me should I fail to for whatever reason. But no, she was behind him, to the left, and hovering, her cape billowing in all its glory. To her left, was _her. _Starfire, my Star… Kori. Her expression was solid and I couldn't help but wonder in those fleeting moments, what was going through her mind. I wished so much to go up to them then and tell them it was all a joke. But it wasn't. Not even BB had a hint of amusement on his face. No, he was to the right of Cyborg, stone faced.

"Not without a fight!" Cyborg said firmly after a long pause, the pause in which I'd asessed my almost faithful friends. Well, they were faithful, but not to me, not while I was doing wrong.

In response to Cyborg's words, I let out a battle cry and ran at them. I heard the words, the familiar phrase, "Titans go!" It sounded weird and foreign, not coming from me. I ignored this as they ran at me.

As we ran and came together, I jumped over Cyborg and used him to throw myself at the ceiling. Star was there, but she merely looked startled and moved aside for me. So I was able to get to the ceiling where a bar protruded that I could grab onto. I swung my body up and used the force and my legs to kick open a vent and throw my body through it.

Of course I knew my way through the ventilation system… you can't sneak into a building without knowing that. Not to mention… This was Wayne Enterprises… So needless to say, it didn't take long at all for me to have managed to crawl up onto the roof.

Jumping out of the vent and hurrying across the building, I heard a voice in my ear that sent a shiver of hatred down my spine.

"Not so fast Robin." It was _him. _How I loathed _him_! "You have yet to achieve your objective."

I lifted my hand to my ear as I ran. "The device was too heavily guarded, I'll have to steal it another-"

"_No!_" He said firmly. I slid to a stop and listened for orders, gritting my teeth silently. "Go back." _He_, Slade… purred. "Unless you want me to destroy them. Go back, and fight."

"Robin!" It was Cyborg again. I whirled around to face my team once more. "Look, I dunno what's going on," He said, coming towards me a couple steps. "but we don't want to fight. We just want to talk."

Ahh, that was my team. Trying to find some way around hurting me… or trying to. But of course I couldn't 'just talk', no matter how much I wished to. So, I jumped at him. I kicked him. Right in the chest. The others watched, BB and Star looking surprised, and Raven with her stoic expression hidden beneath the shadow of her hood.

"Guess there's nothing ta talk about." Beast Boy said, cracking his knuckles, no longer shocked… just angry. He quickly proceeded to turn into a large gorilla. I didn't worry though. I was faster then him, I knew that much, and so, as he lifted his arms to smash me, I rolled easily out of the way and proceeded to dodge the snatches BB made at me. Finally, I jumped backward toward the glowing W-A-Y-N-E letters. I landed on the middle of the A before flipping backwards onto the top. Beastboy easily and quickly followed and I was forced to jump backwards again. As I did so, I pulled out a gadget that, after aimed, reached out and wrapped around Beastboy's wrist. I used that then to pull myself around and through the middle of the A again. Beast Boy followed, but his body was too large to go through… as I'd expected.

Letting go of the other end, I landed once more on the roof and stood to face the rest of the team. However, right in front of me was Star. I didn't want to fight her, not Star. I ran at her, and I heard her sweet voice. "Please." She begged, but I merely ran past. I wasn't going to fight her if I could help it.

Jumping up again, I hurtled toward Raven, foot first. She was quick and a black sheild formed around and between her hands and my foot ran into that. I used it also to propell myself backwards onto my hands. I didn't even both to let my feet touch ground, I just whirled them around in an effort to hit Raven, but she was quicker then I'd thought she'd be. Her shield came around again, blocking this.

Getting back to my feet, I began to kick at her and punch at her, and seemingly effortlessly, she moved aside or blocked. Oddly enough, I found this rather irritating. My strength was in my speed and agility and here I was, not able to be fast enough to actually hit her. I was faster then her! I had to be.

I quicked my pace, and it was a moment or two before I actually managed to get an expression out of the girl, a hint that this was actually somewhat difficult for her. It was truly annoying. She was sitting there blocking, fast enough to stop my blows, but not going at me. I felt my blood rate go up. I suddenly wanted to really try and beat her.

Abruptly, as I was hitting Raven's shields, I heard Cyborgs voice. It was his battle groan and I quickly moved aside as I heard his voice within range of him hitting me. As I'd hoped, his fist went past me as I ducked away and ran into Raven's shield. She cringed then. It was an oddly satisfying feeling, to know I'd outwitted them. Or at least, in a sense. Cyborg had probably growled that way to warn me, not wanting to hit me, but being the only one without powers, and outdoing them all felt… well… very nice indeed. As much as I hated it, I was beginning to enjoy this fight. They weren't trying all-out yet, and neither really was I, but it'd be amusing to see an all-out battle between us.

As I was fighting and thinking about this, something suddenly ramned into me. A green blur to my left sent me rolling across the building. I felt my body stop at the edge, but I made no move. Not yet.

"Dude! Are you okay!" I heard Beast Boy worry, felt his voice get closer. As it did so, I sprang around, grabbed his wrist, and kicked him back and into Cyborg. I was definatly fired up now. That someone had actually got a hit at me… I don't know what was wrong with me, but it made me determined, determined to prove I could beat them.

I got up slowly then, watching the effect of what I'd done. I suddenly felt myself get a slight grip. I could have just hurt Beast Boy… I didn't want to hurt my friends.

"Fight to win Robin." It was like he could read my thoughts! Damn Slade! "Use the thermal blaster."

Raven, who had been still up to then, suddenly lifted into the air. Why had she waited? I didn't understand, probably fighting with herself. But now she did, and immediately said her chant. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

I felt her cold, dark power encase my abdonmin and felt myself lift up into the air. I felt a surge of annoyance, that she had taken hold of me. I didn't want to hurt her still though, of course I didn't. I had to get free though. I grabbed a gadget with my free hand and threw it at the letter behind her. The explosion was bright, so bright, I knew it had hurt Raven's eyes since she was so close. She fell… and so did I. I jumped at Cyborg and began punshing at him.

"Come on man! Don't make me do this! I don't want to do this!" He said, as he blocked me with his cybernetic arm and lifted his other, turning it into the cannon. If I weren't fighting, I would have laughed. He couldn't get me with that thing. I was too fast for him. Sure it was powerful, but I was too fast. And my thoughts proved true as he moved his arm around then to blast me. I jumped back and kicked my legs at his chest, causing him to fall back and his cannon to go off in a random direction. Didn't hit me, of course it didn't. Fool he was to think he could.

I jumped then, jumped high, managed to get all the way to the top of the A. I crouched there and looked down for a moment… I didn't want to be fighting my friends. So… I decided I was done. I took off across the letters, watching my recooperating friends. As I got to the end though… I heard that voice.

"Stop!" It was Star. How I hated the thought of facing her right now. She was floating in front of me in all her beautiful glory, a hand outstretched, her hand shimmering with a shade of green I'd come to adore.

"Do, not, move." She said carefully and firmly. God she looked beautiful then, her eyes firm and set, half her body shimmering in the glow of her own energy, the rest shadowed and deep colored.

"I thought I told you to use. that. blaster." _His _voice rang in my ear again. "Attack! Now!"

With a great feeling of dread, I moved my arm around, so Slades _precious _blaster was aimed at her… at Starfire. The end began to glow, posing it's own silent threat.

Starfire closed her hand into a fist and her eyes narrowed determindly. I sat there, letting the thing charge, praying she'd just blast me. God, death looked better at the moment then hurting her. I didn't want to hurt her, I never wanted to ever have to hurt her.

And then… her eyes opened wider… became soft. She floated there for a moment, as I tried to make out this knew expression, and then she spoke.

"Robin," She paused. "You are my best friend." Her voice cracked to my horror. I didn't know how I'd manage it now if she broke down. Her words enough clenched my heart. "I cannot be in a world where we must fight." It took all my strength not to react, not to lower my weapon and beg her to forgive me, to explain why I'd done it! That, of course though, would result in her death. I didn't want her to die.

"If you are truly evil, then go ahead, do what you must." She told me, closing her eyes and retracting her energy. She then lowered her arm. I felt an odd mixture of emotions then. Honored and on air that she wouldn't hurt me, that she would give into me no matter what I was or did or became. Yet… I never wanted her to give up or give in. I wished her to always fight and protect herself and others. It was such an odd feeling then, realizing that now, I was more important then the citizens Slade would have me hurt.

I found that my jaw was hanging open and I was staring at her in surprise. I hadn't even felt my expression shift. But there I was, looking like a dumbfounded fool I'm sure.

I couldn't help it then; I retracted my arm and let the energy flow out, the red glow diminishing. "Starfire no!" The words sounded odd coming from my lips… too irrational.

The next moment, something was blaring, squeaking, tearing at my eardrums. The sound was overwhelming and I groaned and put a hand to my ear.

The sound ceased and I heard Slade's voice. "Robin!" He was scolding me. "I gave you an order! If you won't attack, my probes will." He said, his voice deadly.

Before I knew it, Star let out a moan of pain and her body jerked forward. I jumped forward, alarmed. I didn't want them to get hurt!

Mid-air, her body began to jerk and convulse and all I could do was watch helplessly, my eyes wide with worry. _I didn't want her hurt!_

She fell then, and I heard myself call out her name as I caught her. I looked down at her face, distorted in pain. My heart clenched again. This wasn't right! It wasn't right!

"Stop! Please! Stop!" I heard myself call out, heard myself beg. Anything but this!

"Attack Robin, it's the only way to save them." The voice responded calmly in my ear. "Attack with everyting you've got!"

I looked down at Star; I looked down at Cyborg, Beast Boy, Raven. All of them in pain. I had to do it, I had to save them this pain. Anything to stop the pain!

Slowly, I set Star down. She reached out for me and groaned my name, but I remained stoic and looked down upon her.

I had to.

"I'm sorry." I said hoarsly, before lifting my arm and charing the thermoblaster. He wanted me to use it; I had to use it. I did. I watched, but didn't see, as it hit Star, as the smoke trailed upward toward the stars. She could handle that hit… she was so strong…

"That's my boy." I could have growled! Hearing those words from that man! I quickly moved away. I didn't want to see Star, I didn't want to see if I'd hurt her. It had stopped, the pain had stopped. They were alright. They regrouped and I heard Beast Boy talking. I didn't wait though, I let out a growl and jumped at them, using the thermal blaster ahead of me… and hitting no one.

Sweeping a hand under BB I tripped him, grabbed his body, and threw him into Raven, knocking the two back. Cyborg ran at me then and I whirled around, kicking him back.

Star aimed at me then and I jumped at her… but couldn't get myself to hurt her. My feet touched another letter and I used it to propell myself near the side of the building again. I landed on the ground and rolled to my feet. I aimed my thermoblaster at her once more. She was unscathed now after I'd hit her, so she'd be fine should it happen again, and in any case, I was sure she'd be quick enough to dodge it. I deliberatly slowed myself slightly to give her room to, but she didn't move. I just couldn't! I aimed to the side of her, hitting the Y. I aimed at Beast Boy then and he shifted and scrambled out of the way. It continued on toward Raven but she lifted a shield around herself.

As Raven dropped her shield, Beast Boy jumped at me. I shot at him several times but he dodged each shot. In monkey form, he landed on me and began climbing around me. I soon found this annoying and tried to grab him. This wasn't easy, but finally I managed to. I grabbed him by the tail and threw him off of me. I lifted the arm with the thermoblaster on it, but suddenly, my wrist felt cold as Raven's powers enveloped my arm. It keyed in on the device on my arm and to my relieve (and slight annoyance) Raven had destroyed it.

To my surprise though, I was greatly annoyed. Raven had bested me. I, for some reason, hated that, so as her eyes went from white to violet, I jumped at her and grasped her wrist rather violently. As I reached her though, I suddenly didn't want to hurt her anymore. I resolved to grasping her hood and pulling it down over her face… make her look the fool, and then I threw her forward, once again, rather roughly, even for how I was acting tonight. What can I say? I was annoyed.

As I stepped back, I felt Cyborg behind me and ducked under his arms right as they were about to close in on me. I continued backward, away from my friends.

Doing this though, gave them time, and my attacks had given them initiative. So, there they were again, in all there Titan glory, posed and ready to attack me, and I didn't want to fight them anymore. I wondered if, should I even wish to win, if I could against all them at once. Though Star didn't seem as though she would fight me. She looked it now but…

I decided to get out of there. They'd regrouped, Slade couldn't hope I'd be able to defeat them. I grabbed out several more explosives and threw them at the W-A-Y-N-E letters. It hit the A and the Y and they began to fall. This was just the distraction I needed to get away… and so I did. I fled, and hoped I'd never have to fight them again.

I never wanted to hurt my friends…

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**Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors... I don't have the will to check through what I've written and fix things and my computer won't tell me when I have misspellings so... I'm screwed. Oh vell. **


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